We each have these critical moments that we reach in our lives. Fortunately, for some, it really happens sooner than later. For others...it takes years on years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to a point where we all know, inside the deepest part of our hearts, that things must change. This wish for change is like nothing you've ever experienced before. There's a different form of energy to it. There is a different feeling to it altogether.
You have to do the most scary thing there's - face your most vicious nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 and it wasn't by choice. I can remember standing in that loft, hearing words that I would not forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I modified everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything I could. In the final analysis, I won't forget that feeling of turning to ashes. It was not the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was really the complete piling up of dry leaves and hay from years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, a week later, it reached its bottom. Definitely rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that pitch black dark room, it fortunately wasn't granted, and I woke up late the following day gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the knowledge that I could reconstruct my whole world the way that I wanted it.
But I would have to face myself.
More importantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be accountable for my whole entire life, and to eventually let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching any person out there looking to love you. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Discomfort was kept away from me...joy remained covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding avoided my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did just that. I started writing. I started being honest about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My backbone and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I'd create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, this is where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark seeping type of pain that will shock you to death. It frightens you because you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The reality is, this is where your strength is. There's unimaginable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there's strength in great and hearty faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to that scary place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this type of belief in yourself that truly is beyond confidence. It's the sort of feeling that you know that everything around you might be destroyed, and you most definitely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Real power.
"Take from me everything world, and I'm going to come back and build it back better...and no matter how you challenge me...I will absolutely continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Do not ever be frightened to let everything go for the opportunity to build it back better. Desire love in your life? You really are going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is hindering you. You are going to have to dive deep ...down into the pit of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sharp blade. No shields. No weapon. No effort to rise up above it.
You need to go in exposed and fully exposed.
You'll come out. You can cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you could not come out of. I assure you, this is the one place you need to go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest type of life you might ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can assure you...this place, is where life starts.
You have to do the most scary thing there's - face your most vicious nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 and it wasn't by choice. I can remember standing in that loft, hearing words that I would not forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I modified everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything I could. In the final analysis, I won't forget that feeling of turning to ashes. It was not the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was really the complete piling up of dry leaves and hay from years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, a week later, it reached its bottom. Definitely rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that pitch black dark room, it fortunately wasn't granted, and I woke up late the following day gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the knowledge that I could reconstruct my whole world the way that I wanted it.
But I would have to face myself.
More importantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be accountable for my whole entire life, and to eventually let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching any person out there looking to love you. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Discomfort was kept away from me...joy remained covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding avoided my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did just that. I started writing. I started being honest about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My backbone and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I'd create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, this is where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark seeping type of pain that will shock you to death. It frightens you because you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The reality is, this is where your strength is. There's unimaginable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there's strength in great and hearty faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to that scary place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this type of belief in yourself that truly is beyond confidence. It's the sort of feeling that you know that everything around you might be destroyed, and you most definitely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Real power.
"Take from me everything world, and I'm going to come back and build it back better...and no matter how you challenge me...I will absolutely continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Do not ever be frightened to let everything go for the opportunity to build it back better. Desire love in your life? You really are going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is hindering you. You are going to have to dive deep ...down into the pit of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sharp blade. No shields. No weapon. No effort to rise up above it.
You need to go in exposed and fully exposed.
You'll come out. You can cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you could not come out of. I assure you, this is the one place you need to go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest type of life you might ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can assure you...this place, is where life starts.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
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