Friday 23 January 2015

By Karyn Shields





If you become a codependent, the one who will suffer is not only you but your partner as well. Being a codependent just means that you are giving something in the relationship just so you can get something out of it. If you go on with that kind of codependency mindset in this relationship, sooner or later, this relationship will go downhill.



To people who do not want to continue causing grief to their partners, then they should try to avoid becoming codependents at all cost. There should be some great tips that you can consider when you do not want things to go from worse to worst. Here are various tips you can use when you want to be in a healthy relationship.



First, you better get yourself proper counseling. This is so that you can become healthy. You will be unable to indulge in a healthy relationship if you are unwell personally. Thus, you better aim to become healthy before you aim to improve your relationship. The latter will actually improve once you improve yourself.



Do not try to quantify the love you have provided your partner. If you can, you should give everything you have to your partner without expecting to get anything in return. Of course, you should not neglect the relationships you have with other people. That is the healthy way for you to be in a relationship with another.



You got to address the cause of your pain. In every situation that you feel hurt or you get angry, there is always a cause for it. You should be willing to look for that cause behind the behavior that hurts you. You should then be willing to address that cause. Otherwise, you will not find a solution to your problem.



Personal boundaries are important even when you are already in an intimate relationship with another person. The personal boundaries do not only apply to you but to your partner as well. You have to talk about your personal boundaries together with your partner. Respect your partner's personal boundaries and hold on to yours.



You might get in a heated argument with your partner. In such situations, no matter how angry you are, you better not insult your partner. Do not call them any names. Do not label them. No matter how much anger you feel, you better phrase the arguments you make in a way that will not make them feel insulted.



In the case when it is your partner who insults you, you should not let it get to you. Instead of thinking about the insults thrown your way, you should make sure to think about the reason why those words were said in the first place. There might be something wrong and you can only resolve it when you think that way.



Conflicts are inevitable when you are with a partner. It does not matter how long you two have been together or how comfortable you are with each other, there will always be a reason for a fight. If you ever get into a fight, the two of you should decide on what conflict resolution method you will use to make up.









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