Monday 31 August 2015

By Daphne Bowen


There are going to be times when the people who are the closest to you put you through tests. Some of these are true love tests. They will put you through these games because they feel as if they are not worthy of you caring and being with them. Some people just feel that if it is too good to be true for them, then most likely it might be.

However, the games are really not necessary. When two people are grown and should be able to communicate with one another, they should just be able to talk through their problems. The person should be able to say, you are making me feel a certain way in the relationship, and I do not like it.

People do not like to have to prove themselves. They want people, especially the ones who they care about to accept them for being them. It is difficult to get into a relationship, and every time you turn around someone wants you to profess your love for them.

There are many counselors and therapists who can work with couples who are going through these types of problems. These people help others to get to the root of why they feel that they are not being capable of love without having to send another person through hoops to prove themselves to them. People with insecurities should take time to find out what they are expecting and looking for in a relationship.

Tests or games no one likes them, nor do they want to play them when it comes to relationships. The best thing that you can do is sit down and talk to your partner. Let them know how you are feeling and what the games are doing to the relationship.

There have been many counselors, or therapists who have helped save a marriage. Some people put their significant other through tests because they do not know what it feels like to be loved by someone else. It could derive from a troubled past, or someone who has hurt them long before being with you.

It is important to take time to understand where the person is coming from. You do not want to throw them under the bus, and tell them they have a problem and just walk away. They might literally have a problem and just need a little help to see that what they are doing is not okay. So, you want to come up with a plan to get them and your relationship help.

Always focus on the good in one another and that will help to outweigh the negative. You have to remember that everyone comes with flaws. If you talk to the person and they still continue to play games and it is hurting you and the relationship, sometimes you have to make a decision to take a break from the relationship. Be sure to take a break in a way that it can be respected by your partner. Remember the person might not think that there is any harm in putting you through so many changes. However, it is important to let them know that you cannot handle the stress.




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